A foster family story from Bosnia and Herzegovina: “Alex will always be a part of our family”
Alex and his foster father Mirza
In the 15 years he spent growing up in an orphanage in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Alex had a roof over his head but no one to protect him. He never knew what it meant to feel safe, spent the first 15 years of his life living in fear. He had three meals a day but he was always hungry for love. He now lives a loving foster family.
Mirza Agić has a big personality and a big heart. When his foster son, Alex, comes home from college, he fusses over him, making him a sandwich and encouraging him to eat. He knows how to make Alex laugh, patting his own, large round tummy and comparing it to Alex’s slim frame. A semi-retired couple with a grown-up son of their own, Mirza and his wife Meliha have provided the warm and loving home Alex needs to feel safe – something he never experienced in the 15 years he spent growing up in an orphanage in Bosnia and Herzegovina.
The life at the orphanage: “Alex had three meals a day, but he was always hungry for love”
During the 15 years Alex spent at the orphanage he had a roof over his head but no one to protect him, he had clothes to wear but they were never his own, he had three meals a day but he was always hungry for love. The people who were paid to care for Alex and the other children just stood by and watched as the older boys beat the younger ones, day after day after day. Mirza says when Alex first came to live with them he was in a bad way, both physically and emotionally. He was thin, withdrawn and uncooperative. It took time for Alex to calm down and learn to control his temper. By helping his new son to come to terms with his traumatic childhood, Mirza says he came to love him. Fostering children is a tradition in Mirza’s family and it’s something he’s passionate about. He is angry about the way that children are treated in orphanages. ‘They are inhumane,’ he says, because one member of staff cannot care for 30 children properly and give them the attention they need.
“Alex will always be a part of my family”
Since Alex has been living with Mirza and his family, he has caught up with his education and is now at college, training to be a cook. Mirza is proud of the progress that Alex has made. Technically, now that Alex is 18, Mirza’s official responsibility for him is at an end but his commitment to Alex is steadfast. He says Alex will always be a part of his family. “What I want for my oldest son, is the same thing I want for Alex. I can’t let him go on the street. My obligation, as long as I am living, is to take care of Alex. This is not acting, everybody knows me, and my heart is big”.
The need to protect children from orphanages has never been more pressing. Our Director of Global Programmes, Stefan Darabus, says,
“In over 25 years I have never known it so bad. Child protection systems run by local authorities are beyond capacity. Families struggling due to Covid are facing breakdown and family separation. Hidden problems like domestic abuse are being ignored.”
Where a parent has died from Covid, your donation this Christmas could help communities connect vulnerable children with extended family members who can love them, or help us build new relationships with dedicated foster parents. Help give young people like Alex the opportunity to experience the love, support and stability of a family.
On average it costs £63 to identify, train and assess loving foster families for children
