To escape her violent marriage, Galina faced an impossible choice
Galina and Ivan at the Family Support Centre, established by Anglof Regional Foundation & Humanitarian Relief Agency (ARFHRA) in Ukraine, where Galina found the extra support she needed to escape her abusive marriage and keep her children with her.
Around the world, 25 November is recognised as International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
On this day we bring you Galina’s story: Faced with the terrible dilemma of having her children sent to an orphanage if she left her violent husband, her courage and determination means she can now bring her children up within the love and safety of a family.
Galina, describes her youngest son, Ivan, as a sweet and gentle boy. It’s much easier for them both to show their affection for each other now that they have a safe place to live. Less than a year ago, Galina was trapped in an abusive marriage and close to despair.
“I had violence in my home,” she told us, “I didn’t feel like a person. I wanted to save our family but we fought all the time. I didn’t know what to do.”
She knew that if she left with nowhere to live, Ivan and her older son, Roman, might both be taken from her and sent to live in an orphanage with no one to love or protect them.
Eventually Galina called social services and begged for help. They referred her to one of the innovative Family Support Centres, developed by Anglof Regional Foundation & Humanitarian Relief Agency (ARFHRA) in partnership with the local authorities in Ukraine. Twenty four hours later we brought Galina, Ivan and Roman to stay in the Centre’s Mother and Baby Unit. This was the lifeline Galina had been praying for. Now she had somewhere safe to stay with her children while she worked out what to do next.
As well as a comfortable room of their own and access to shared kitchen, bathroom and living facilities, Galina and the boys received counselling to help them overcome the trauma they’d experienced and improve their relationships with one another.
“The boys were beginning to imitate their father’s behaviour,” Galina explains. “They treated me as if I wasn’t human and didn’t have feelings. Now they hug and kiss me. We can talk together and discuss problems. We have started to learn English together.”
Galina says she was scared when her husband discovered where she was and tried to see her. But staff at the Centre reassured her that she was safe and helped her find the courage to stick by her decision. Now she says she feels much stronger. She has divorced her husband and he must pay maintenance for the boys.
Galina works long hours in a factory that makes train wheels and says she wishes she had more time to spend with her sons. But her job means she has been able to take a loan to buy a small flat. Staff at the Family Centre have helped to raise funds to pay for the property to be refurbished, and now Galina, Ivan and Roman have a new and independent life together.
“I feel more positive now,” Galina says with a big smile, adding “I will be grateful all my life for the help I’ve been given. Here help is not just words, it’s real.”
Our prevention work: Mother and Baby Unit
Mother and Baby units are a form of alternative care where vulnerable young families can receive support without mothers and babies being separated.
Our prevention work includes a range of structures and activities ultimately aimed at preventing family separation and placement of children in an institutional care system. Through active family support, Community Hubs and Mother and Baby units, we establish help to stem the flow of children into institutional care by making it possible for families to stay together.
The need to protect children from orphanages has never been more pressing.
Our Director of Global Programmes, Stefan Darabus, says,
“In over 25 years I have never known it so bad. Child protection systems run by local authorities are beyond capacity. Families struggling due to Covid are facing breakdown and family separation. Hidden problems like domestic abuse are being ignored.”
You can help keep vulnerable families like Galina’s together by helping us provide essential support like emergency help with food, clothes and heating. With the basics taken care of, parents won’t have to surrender their children to orphanages in the hope they will eat this Christmas.
On average it costs just £45 to identify a vulnerable child or family at risk of separation.
